The Big Dilemma for Women
The war over women is raging in the U.S. and it’s getting ugly. It
seems everyone wants the influence or the vote of women, but each side
has fallen into trying to win influence in a negative manner. Professor
Rachel Lu in her article, “Conservatives and Women”[1]
delves into the issue as it appears in the political realm. The
political players have gotten used to pointing fingers and accusing
others of mistreatment. Lu lays it out well by explaining how
conservatives have pointed to liberals' narrow focus on abortion as a
women’s rights issue and also pointing a finger at Bill Clinton, still a
democratic party icon, as “Womanizer in chief”. Liberals point to
conservatives and say that they relegate women to subservience. They
point to the issue of abortion and say that conservatives want to take
away women’s reproductive rights.
There is a real dilemma underlying the war over women. Women grow
up knowing that one day they will most likely be mothers. What happens
when they become a mother? Do all our life ambitions have to be put to a
halt so that we can stay at home with the children? There are a couple
of realities here. Children are a lot of work and children do best if
raised by their parents. The other reality is that women are fully
capable of being successful in a career. It is difficult to balance
both and it is difficult to go back into a career after years of being a
stay-at-home mom.
In this fight over women I see a major problem. Both sides are trying to solve our dilemma incorrectly.
Liberals incorrectly focus on “reproductive rights”, or abortion, as
a way of escape. Abortion can help us escape the captivity of
motherhood or even just the temporary hardships of pregnancy (because it
would be easier to kill a child than bring the baby into a family who
would like a child). Women will have more to offer society if they
don’t let a child get in the way of an education and career or just an
independent life. Liberals will also tell us that we should be able to
have access to birth control so that we can have “safe sex” because who
can really control their sexual urges anyways? So let’s get young women
on birth control that isn’t 100% effective so that they can have more
unwanted pregnancies so that we can kill more babies for the purpose of
furthering “women’s rights”. It seems illogical that the focus be on a
procedure that not only kills babies, but can negatively affect the life
of the mother by decreasing her chances of being able to conceive later
on in life and increasing her chances of depression. Women who have
had an abortion are 4 times more likely to contemplate or commit suicide[2].
Women who have a Dilation and Curettages abortion at 16% risk of
Asherman’s Syndrome which causes infertility and this risk only
increases with subsequent abortions[3].
Should we kill a human and hurt another for the sake of “reproductive
rights”? What about helping women to be both good mothers and to pursue
their careers without the answer being abortion?
Conservatives tend to have a singular focus on abortion just as much
as the liberals. While I have to agree that exposing the evil of
abortion is necessary, it shouldn’t be our main battle cry. Abortion is
wrong, but instead of focusing on the problem the focus needs to be on
the solution. We need to focus on the solution without feelings of
resentment or anger towards those who have provided a way out through
abortion. And the solution is not pressuring women to be full-time stay
at home moms and to forget their careers.
The problem we need to address is the barrier that society has
set-up for mothers who wish to have a career after taking some time to
focus on their children. There is financial pressure, and the reality
for some, that more than one income is needed to support a family.
Within these realities we need to realize that motherhood is an
honorable calling, but not the only calling for women. We need to look
at scripture to remember the God-given worth and value of women. Here
are just a few sections of Proverbs 31.
“The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of
gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life… She
perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out
at night. She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the
spindle. She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to
the needy…. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of
kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call
her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.”
In Proverbs 31 we can see that the honorable woman is someone who
does her husband good, takes care of her household, raises her children,
has skill in so many areas and uses them for the glory of God and for
the good of her family. A family is a blessing, not a curse. God
blesses us with good things to bring us closer to Him. We can glorify
Him in all that He calls us to.
I’m not sure what the solution would be to break down barriers for
women. Maybe it would be help with education to keep up to date in our
fields while being a mom or maybe it would be more opportunities to work
from home. Despite these possibilities, I think the main problem is
our hearts towards women. Some think mothers have forgotten how to work
in their field. Think about all that a mother has to do to invest in
the lives of her children. She learns how to sacrifice for the needs of
another, she grows in her patience, she learns how to handle conflict,
and she teaches and imparts wisdom. A mother gains so many new skills
while raising her child. Let’s cherish and value mothers around us and
encourage them in the work they do. The most honorable calling should
be that of creating, shaping, and molding the future.
Maybe if we didn’t feel so bad about disappointing those in our
lives who wanted us to have a career, but instead were surrounded by
those who encouraged us, there wouldn’t be a stigma with pregnancy or
with motherhood. Then maybe the ability to also have a career wouldn’t
be so difficult.
- Carly Winterstein
[1] http://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/2014/03/12364/
[2] http://downloads.frc.org/EF/EF10B09.pdf
[3] http://www.ashermans.org/home/